Anya Sophia Mann

Raw. Intimate. Real.

by Anya Sophia Mann

As part of a short survey I recently asked people what challenges they have experienced in their own personal, professional and spiritual development. 

What follows is my response to one reader's comment, that I felt would be so profoundly impactful for so many people that I decided to share it here. I would really appreciate your comments below.

My question:

What have been the two biggest challenges you have experienced in terms of 

your own personal, professional and spiritual development 

that we absolutely NEED to address in the QA Café? 

Reader's comment:  

"Moving past the anger associated with less than ideal early conditioning. I'm fully aware I chose these parents and there was a reason I wanted the experience. I've had healings that helped immensely, I've done courses designed to move through this stuff. I'm a sensitive intuitive person, I meditate daily, I drum at the beach at sunrise every morning and do energy work. 

All of the above has helped me... but there is this anger that for most my life has been buried and ignored because I learned very early that being 'real' bought great punishment. My emotions didn't count for anything so they had to be stuffed away. I've moved past the 'numbness' at least. 

That's a big step forward, the emotions are coming up now but I'm surprised at the 'tantrum' (if that's the right word) my wounded inner child will sometimes throw at what I (the rest of me) considers not that significant. I just want to be done with this passive aggression that simmers under the surface. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated Anya :)"

My response:  

Thank you so very much for clearly articulating what many other people can relate to. Being a sensitive intuitive person myself, I too can personally relate to what you are speaking about here. Good news that the emotions are coming up. Let the wounded inner child have a voice in an appropriate way. I understand you want to be done with the passive/aggressive simmering under the surface. This may be a twist in your thinking about anger, so here we go … 

Suppression of anger sickens the body. The message of the emotion of anger is "move". Anger never, ever, comes from anything outside of you. It is inside, it comes from within. It is actually a very healthy RESPONSE to whatever has been, or is, going on OUTSIDE OF YOU. Really get that. It is a healthy response trying to get you to MOVE away from something. When we are a child we CAN'T because our survival depends on the adult (authority) who may be the very one raging on us. So, the energy of anger gets stuck in your system UNEXPRESSED. And now it is finally moving which often looks like 'leaking' out. No judgement here. All very good news. 

So the invitation here, for you and those who can relate, is COMPASSION AND LOVE TRANSFORM ANGER. Go inside of you, and love that inner child, and have compassion for her experience. This will begin melting the frozen anger. Whomever was responsible for your less than ideal early conditioning was SUFFERING INSIDE, and leaking on you. Feel the COMPASSION FOR THEIR SUFFERING as well as compassion for your own suffering. 

This is the best I can do in this tiny moment to share some huge information and ideas for you. Thank you for being so raw, intimate, and real, with your response. I appreciate you. You really matter! Thank you, Anya : )

Compassion liberates!

Anya

Anya Sophia Mann Author, Coach and Speaker.