Self Love
by Anya Sophia Mann
How can we begin to love ourselves more? I believe that the more we are disconnected from ourselves the more we don't care about others. So that makes loving my self very vital to living in harmony. What is self love? What does it mean?
I can only share with you what I notice about myself and other people who hold themselves in a place of self love. Perhaps we can better recognize it by talking about lack of self love and what that looks like in the world: hopeless, helpless, angry, mad, sad, victim, blaming, not caring, not sharing, lifeless, loveless. I have met these people along the way in my journey through life in all kinds of roles. Retail clerks, airport employees, passengers on planes that I am flying with, over the phone, in the grocery.
Where is my heart in all of this? For the most part compassionate, caring and curious. Do I want to 'fix' them? No... because I can't. They are not broken. They are just disconnected from their core self. Can I, out of love for myself, take a moment and just breathe into my open heart and see them as disconnected from their heart? Yes!
How can I do that and not join them in their moment of misery from their disconnection to self? By simply remembering my own love and respect of my self. I respect myself enough to not be miserable because of someone else's misery. I respect myself enough to know that my loving me makes a difference to all others that I meet in my day on this earth. I respect myself enough to know that I matter, not by someones else's standard, but by my own standards that are guiding my way of being in this world.
Love of self is liberating. It heals the chains that bind us to thinking that we don't matter, and have no purpose in life. We do matter, greatly. Self love is the single greatest daily act that we can offer to ourselves, family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers.
"Self love is the single greatest daily act that we can offer to ourselves, family, friends, co-workers, acquaintances and strangers."
How do you start to love your self? Start noticing without judgement where you act and speak as if you do not love yourself, first and foremost. Look for where you are not loving you. And then forgive yourself without judgement for disrespecting you.
It begins with awareness of self, and from there begin to like yourself. Then begin to honor, love, and respect who you be, to yourself and others.
I need you to love you so that you don't demand or need me to love you, in order to feel like you matter. That is not my job. It is your job to love you. This is the 'right order' of love.
When YOU love YOU, you can love without attachment or expectation for someone else to fill you up. It's your job to fill you up, and when you do YOU can share it with others. Clearly, cleanly and without strings attached.
Love your self first, which will raise the standard for everyone else who loves you.
Live in love!
Anya
Anya Sophia Mann Author, Coach and Speaker.
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